Most of us call those birds of poop Canadian geese. However, it's original name is a Canada goose. Actually, the official name of any bird is its Latin name, so the real name for this fowl is Branta canadensis.

Now, I know bears do it in the woods, but not these nightingales who consume about four pounds of grass daily and leave about three pounds behind everywhere. These non-migratory birds leave a holy mess in the parks, ponds, soccer fields, and wherever they go, depositing a hefty trail of oppressive fecal matter, not to mention the health risks that might be present with E. coli and salmonella.

So, let's cure the problem with a new line of deli meats. Stay with me. I'd like to introduce you to the tastiest cured goose chorizo, yum! Go right down the deli counter – we have goose bologna (a delicacy), flavorful goose mortadella (great on antipasto), ultra-thin Black Forest goose ham (all natural). We can offer Buffalo-style goose breast and oven-roasted pulled goose with smoky BBQ sauce, or uncured hard goose salami. Hillshire Farm could have a field day.

And you haven't tasted great prosciutto until you've tried aged goose prosciutto.

I could go on, but you get the idea. And here's the best part – peppery goose pepperoni is part of the solution to our foul-feathered dilemma.

Phil Paleologos is the host of The Phil Paleologos Show on 1420 WBSM New Bedford. He can be heard weekdays from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. Contact him at and follow him on Twitter @Phil Paleologos. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.

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