Phil’s Phar Out News

MAN DANCES ON TOP OF POLICE CAR TO WARD OFF VAMPIRES: A man in Florida has been arrested for disturbing the peace and criminal mischief when he decided to jump on top of a police car and dance in order to prevent a vampire attack, according to the police report. He stated that a "woman with fangs" came to his door and told him a human sacrifice involving vampires was imminent. He was not under the influence of narcotics, or diagnosed with a mental illness. (UPI)

91-YEAR-OLD MAN CRASHES THROUGH A GARAGE DOOR FOR ‘BUCKET-LIST’: A 91-year-old man’s lifelong dream was to crash his car through a garage door. He said that he’d always wanted to see what would happen. Friends of the man’s grandson donated use of their garage, as they were going to take it down, anyway. His dream came true, and he was able to pop the door right off. (UPI)

A WOMAN IS TRYING TO SELL PLOTS OF LAND ON THE SUN: A woman is suing Ebay for not allowing her to sell plots of land on the sun. She said that she knows the law, and is working within it. She claims that she has already received 600 orders. (Metro)

A CUL-DE-SAC IN THE UK INVADED BY A HERD OF CATTLE: A bunch of people living in a cul-de-sac in the UK were more than shocked when the awoke to the sound of cows mooing in their front yards. Apparently, the cows escaped from a nearby farm. It took residents hours to gather the cattle together and return them to their farm. (Mirror)

114 CATS SEIZED FROM A DELTONA HOME: 114 cats were seized from a home in Deltona, Florida. The law in the town of Deltona only allows it’s residents to have up to 5 pets. The cats were being taken care of, pretty well, but some needed veterinary care. (Wesh)