New Bedford Needs a Seagull Imitation Festival

In urban slang, the word "seagull" refers to a person who will do anything for food or beer, or someone who glides around the office doing nothing.

Incorporate all three and it’s time to start talking up a Seagull Screeching Festival.

Sponsored by the local pubs, as a money generator, an event like this would be visibly fun, enjoyable for everyone and it really is hilarious!

I briefly mentioned it on-air and two brave gulls phoned in to share their rare talent of imitating a seagull’s squawk. You can’t help but applaud and laugh simultaneously.

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While that’s getting organized, someone can make this festival ecumenical, add a 5K family splat run where the kids could get “splatted upon” in certain areas with a harmless seagull poop-like combination of whipped cream and black pepper whisked together. Use a turkey baster, and see if you can squirt the kids as they run by quickly. They even can sell candy that looks like bird poo – but it tastes pretty good, actually.

Any festivity that’s worth a revisit has to offer really good food. Using chicken wings, invite all appetites to the Best Seagull Wings contest.

If you’re thinking beyond all this right now, you get it. A fun atmosphere makes all the difference in a boring world.

Of course, there’s going to be live music, but who’s going to judge the “screechers?” What kind of crown or headpiece should the winner(s) get? I bet you’ll get a snippet of positive TV news coverage that will get people smiling – and the rest, as they say, could be history!