Aunt Jemima Takes One for the Team [OPINION]
Aunt Jemima has survived the Great Depression, two world wars, Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, and 9/11. She struggled through disco, the breakup of the Beatles, the advent of talkies and television, and the rise and fall of leisure suits. The old gal witnessed the invention of the telephone, the moonwalk (both Armstrong's and Jackson's), New Coke, Twinkies, and the cell phone.
She was unscathed by Watergate, Whitewater, Russia collusion, and avoided being tainted by performance-enhancing drugs.
Aunt Jemima has outlasted fads and fashions and gimmicks galore, but after 130 years she has been done in by the PC police who demand their pancakes and waffles without racial overtones.
Yep, Quaker Oats has decided that Aunt Jemima is the root of all that is evil in our world. She can no longer be allowed to taunt little black kids from her maple syrup bottle during breakfast or turn little white kids into fascist racists like their parents who gorged themselves unchecked for too many years on Aunt Jemima products. She's just gotta go.
After all of these years of peering at America from the top left corner of the box and bottle, Aunt Jemima must be eradicated. She has been virtue-signaled and cancel-cultured out of existence.
So long, farewell, adios. Aunt Jemima has left the building. Now, if we can just get Uncle Ben, Snap, Crackle, and Pop and those damn dancing raisins, all of our woes over inequality and injustice will have been addressed.
Ah yes, a new world is dawning. I feel better already.
Barry Richard is the host of The Barry Richard Show on 1420 WBSM New Bedford. He can be heard weekdays from noon to 3 p.m. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @BarryJRichard58. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.