The bitter cold is going to set in the Southcoast this weekend. Temperatures in the low teens means prime time cuddle sessions this Valentine's Day. Also a great time to brush up on your "It's So Cold" jokes!

It's so cold...

  • The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
  • Richard Simmons wearing shorts that come nearly to the half-thigh region.
  • Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
  • You have to break the smoke off your chimney
  • You have to open the fridge to heat the house
  • Your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
  • Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
  • Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
  • People look forward to getting a fever
  • Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears
  • I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
  • We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
  • Refrigerators are redundant
  • Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
  • Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
  • Prisoners are begging for the electric chair.
  • Roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the pressure cooker!
  • A streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Mitchell hung a plaque around his neck...so we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.
  • I chipped my tooth on my soup.
  • Dunkin' Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
  • We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
  • I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
  • I actually saw a gangsta pull his pants up.
  • I'm drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
  • Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet.
  • Trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
  • Cops are tazing themselves.
  • I farted snowflakes
  • Even Elsa is bothered by it
  • I'm thankful for hot flashes
  • Donald Trump's hair freezes in place.
  • Miley Cyrus had to put her clothes back on.
  • I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
  • The ice cubes in my drink have goose bumps.

***PERSONAL FAVORITE: