An Open Letter to Spirit Halloween: Please Open Year-Round

Dear Spirit Halloween,

As we close in on Halloween, I want to say thank you for once again injecting some spooky fun into our lives this year.

It seems as if it was only yesterday that we were excited about the start of another spooky season, but now here we are on the cusp of you packing up and going away again until next August.

While I’m sure your staff is exhausted from the weeks and weeks of constantly unloading deliveries, stocking shelves and dealing with the general hysteria that is the day-to-day operations of Spirit Halloween (screaming kids and all), I’m humbly asking you to reconsider calling it a season.

Instead, I ask that you stay open all year long.

Now, it doesn’t have to be every location; just a few here and there. After all, not every town is lucky enough to have a Spirit Halloween store (or in the case of Dartmouth, two stores).

Yes, I know we can purchase items from your website throughout the rest of the year, but it’s not the same as actually visiting the store and seeing what’s new. It’s one of the few brick-and-mortar shopping experiences left that can’t be replicated (and alleviated) by online shopping.

Would a year-round Spirit Halloween be profitable enough to stay in business? I’m sure your money people have agonized over that very question for years. You made an astounding $1.86 billion in 2023; by comparison, True Value hardware stores brought in three times that in 2023 and still declared bankruptcy this year.

Would the nearly $2 billion amassed over two to three months mean you could remain as profitable even after the “ber” months are over? Probably not at the same pace, but surely enough to keep the lights on and remain in the black.

Think of all that The Nightmare Before Christmas and Terrifier 3 merchandise that would still play well in December. You could have a special Jason Vorhees “slashing prices” sale anytime a month has a Friday the 13th in it. Plus we now have horror films like Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Krampus, My Bloody Valentine and so many more that could keep the scares going all year.

Maybe you could even have monthly screenings of Spirit Halloween: The Movie? I know it’s available for free on Tubi, but this cinematic masterpiece would be best viewed on the big screen in the back of a Spirit Hallowen store (ok, fine, I’m just trying to butter you up, the movie – well, it wasn’t good).

The recently-announced launch of Spirit Christmas shows that you know the model can work other times of the year. After all, you’re owned by Spencer Gifts, which has somehow managed to remain open since 1947 despite the fact that nobody has ever seen more than five people shopping in one of those stores at a single time.

I think it could work, especially if you’re able to open 24 hours a day. Imagine what kind of weirdos would come to a Spirit Halloween at 2 a.m.? The kind of weirdos that would spend good money to buy a mask from someone who wouldn’t ask questions.

So please, give it some thought. A year-round Spirit Halloween could become many spooky shoppers’ “happy place” where they go to frivolously spend money on things they definitely don’t need, such as Beetlejuice tumblers, Wednesday Addams Ouija boards, light-up Bates Motel signs and inflatable Stay-Puft Marshmallow Men.

Of course, you probably won’t even try it. You’ve got over 1,400 stores during the Halloween season, and if you thought even a handful of them could make it all year, you would’ve already given it a go.

Still, maybe try it once, just for me?

Stay Spookytacular,

— Tim

P.S.: Thankfully, at least those of us on the SouthCoast still have The Horror Family, LLC in New Bedford to give us our frightening fix the rest of the year.