Would You Remarry Your Ex? [PHIL-OSOPHY]
Would you remarry your ex? Are you crazy?
Valentine's Day is Sunday, and after talking on my program about a Kentucky couple who said "I do" anew in a marriage re-do, I wondered how many divorced couples would do it?
The twosome I was talking about on-air married young and had five children early on. He wasn't home a lot because of the nature of his job, so they divorced. Both remarried and both of their spouses passed away a few years ago. Now in their senior years, they saw each other at a family reunion and, presto, cupid struck again.
My wife Celeste reminded me about actress Elizabeth Taylor, who was married eight times, but only had seven different husbands because she became espoused twice to Richard Burton, her No. 5 and No. 6 husbands. Then I opened Pandora's Box, discovering that legendary comedian Richard Pryor tied the slip-knot and married two of his seven wives twice. I'm going to pass over Larry King, but I wondered if marrying your ex-spouse was common.
The answer to that question is all over the place with some sources saying it is a rare occurrence, while another source guessing it was unexceptional. But I couldn't find actual statistics on it, so I'll side with the source who said it's infrequent.
Maybe the couples started to wonder what they could have done differently? How many married so young and now their personal growth and maturity have led them back to their relationship? Vegas bookmakers realize the odds are against you that you'll have a rewarding marriage. I'm a fan of second – and third – chances. In fact, I despise those kind of limits and caps.
When we look at authentic reality, the majority of the time when a divorce happens, no one is blameless. Yes, there are exceptions, but regardless of the primary reason for the divorce, there are bound to be other issues in the marriage. I see it all the time. People just don't take personal responsibility seriously. For divorced couples to have a fruitful second marriage, both have to accept responsibility for how they contributed to the demise of the first.
People can change and maybe get to sing that song "Second Time Around" in a different way.
Phil Paleologos is the host of The Phil Paleologos Show on 1420 WBSM New Bedford. He can be heard weekdays from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @PhilPaleologos. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.
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